Blakkbox Lifestyle

Well its been an interesting few weeks. I haven’t been posting on here nearly enough, but I’m okay with that right now – this project is a marathon, not a sprint, and to be honest I’d have had a hard time writing and giving advice for the last couple months. I’ve really been focusing on myself and trying to get my own affairs in order.

This post is going to be a little different from others that I’ve written, but in the name of full transparency I think it’s worth putting up. If I didn’t, I’d somehow have to play off the reason I haven’t really been focusing on the blog and I don’t want to bullshit anyone. Plus, I felt like I couldn’t really move on other topics without covering this first.

The Discovery

So here’s the deal: While reading Michael Ellsberg’s guest post “8 Steps to Getting What You Want… Without Formal Credentials” on Tim Ferriss’ blog a few weeks ago (an awesome post by the way, makes me feel confident about Why I’m Not Going Back to College), I stumbled across a link to another article he wrote for Forbes.com. It was called “How I Overcame Bipolar II (and saved my own life).” So I read that article as well.

Now I’m no hypochondriac, but I so strongly identified with the disorder he described I began researching it from other sources as well. It described the oscillating periods of hypomania (literally, “less than mania”) and depression, times where those with the disorder appear as normal, albeit high-functioning people, and times of depression where they can barely get out of bed and face the day. I quickly realized I’ve been struggling with similar symptoms since my mid-teens, and that (at the time of reading) I was dealing with the latter symptoms.

It wasn’t easy to admit to myself, to be honest. No one wants to think they have a weakness. But a weakness can only be used advantageously if the proper steps are taken to deal with it, so that’s what I’m going to do. Aside from my own research and ideas, I’ll be talking to a doctor next week to see what else I can learn. I’m confident the outcome will be positive and this too shall pass.

The good thing is that as soon as I realized what it is I’ve been struggling with, it seemed much more possible to take control of it. It was a lightbulb moment, a sudden realization, and knowing what you’re up against makes a favorable outcome much more likely. As Sun Tzu wrote in The Art of War:

“So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.”

Everyone has their battle, their own private war. This is one of mine, an internal battle. I now know myself and I know my enemy and I will not lose.

If you feel like something is holding you back it is imperative to acknowledge and recognize it. Before reading and researching this disorder I felt lost and didn’t know what to do, but I knew something wasn’t right. Now I have a better understanding of myself and my weaknesses. I know what I need to do. I know myself. I know my enemy.

The Journey

At first I was somewhat worried about putting this online. I was afraid it would somehow reduce my credibility. If I’m not a perfect shining example of what I’m writing about on this blog then no one will listen to me, right?

But I’ve come to realize it’s about the journey. It will always be about the journey for everyone.

You can’t just suddenly jump from the starting point to the finish line. Not without putting in some hard work to get there. And that applies to every aspect of life.  Whatever your ultimate goals are - physical, mental, social, spiritual – they are all their own difficult journey, intertwined though they are, leading to the apex of your personal potential.

Let’s take the journey together. I could use the company.

*****

In other news I recently passed a test and am now a Certified Fitness Nutrition Specialist, and if all goes well by the end of the month I will also be a Certified Personal Trainer. So that whole bit about not having any credibility on my about page is now somewhat untrue, but I think thats okay.

In the coming weeks look for some more articles picking up where I left off in September.